IRIDIUM HELPS

As professional women, we often find ourselves juggling countless responsibilities both at work and in our personal lives. Taking time off from work is essential for maintaining good mental health, productivity, and overall well-being. This is not news to you, or me, or any of us. So when the research shows that 46% of U.S. workers who receive paid time off take less than they are offered, we have to ask: Why are we so bad about taking time off?

For many of us, our self worth and people-pleasing tendencies are so wrapped up in what we do that we experience feelings of guilt and shame when it comes to taking our well-deserved paid time off (PTO). It may sound dramatic, but years of conversations with friends, family, and clients have upheld the idea. Not to mention looking back on my own experience.

I’m thinking about all the times that I drove into cell range while camping, just to make sure that there weren’t any major emergency emails that needed answered. Or the time that I was standing in the Colorado River trying to land a huge brown trout while negotiating an offer for a candidate because it was Friday evening and the hiring manager wanted to know if it was a “done deal” so he could go get a celebratory drink even though the offer gave the individual until Monday to decide. Then there’s the “I’ll just check my emails real quick” behavior that has resulted in me being bummed out, overwhelmed, or reluctantly working while on vacation. I would guess that you’ve experienced many of these situations yourself.

But here’s the rub: no one ever taught us how to take time off. It is something that we have learned through osmosis from the people around us and the greater social context. And when we look around at our current productivity culture, we see example after example of the romanticized workaholic. This is likely why 52% of U.S. employees report working while on PTO. Disclaimer: Yes, there are instances where it is absolutely necessary to tap in and I recognize that paid time off is also a privilege that is not available to everyone ( in fact 31% of U.S. employees do not have access to PTO which is absolutely something we’d love to change). The point I’d like to make is that there are some small changes that we can make to improve our time away from work that can be applied whether or not we are being paid during our absence.

With summer vacations around the corner, we figured it was high time to explore why these feelings arise and provide some practical tips for working on them, so you can enjoy your time off without any regrets.

Understanding Your Company’s PTO Philosophy

Most companies have a PTO policy on paper, but it is the philosophy in practice that makes all the difference. When we talk about the philosophy, we mean what the cultural vibe is around people taking time off. Observe how your team reacts to and handles it when someone is out of the office. Is it chaotic? Do other people feel uncomfortable asking for time off? Why? What works? What doesn’t? Then consider how these observations affect your mindset around asking for and taking your time off. It’s not unusual for us to reflect those external factors back on ourselves. This is where a mindset check for yourself becomes a really effective step. Ask yourself how you feel about using your PTO, then delve deeper into why. Notice your thoughts. How are you participating in those thoughts? How could you reframe them in a healthier way?

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a woman in my life make a statement along the lines of “I don’t deserve time off” well, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog because I’d be on a beach in the Bahamas. I’m here to tell you that you do. You do. You do. So, let’s get to the practical ways you can make it less stressful.

Planning Your PTO

To minimize feelings of guilt, it’s crucial to plan your time off strategically. Start by communicating early with your manager and team about your PTO plans. I’m talking about initial concept phase early here. Sometimes we think it is better to wait until we have everything figured out and fully booked before we say anything. This is not the case! When you do that, it turns requesting PTO into a demand-based interaction rather than a conversation. When you start planning your trip, talk to your team about what you’re thinking for duration and dates. This allows you to address any issues WAAAAY before you have all your eggs in one basket. Plus, it will foster trust with your teammates, making them more willing to help set you up for success while you’re gone.

Planning Your Coverage

Next, be proactive in preparing a coverage plan. What elements of your day-to-day are critical and require another employee managing them in your absence? What items can wait until you get back? Make a quick list of what tasks, projects, etc. you are responsible for, then triage them into those buckets. Once you have your mission critical items, look through them and decide who is best equipped to handle them. Then, and this is key, have a quick conversation with that person to understand if they have the capacity and what you need to do before you leave to prepare them to manage those tasks. By being organized and considerate of your team’s needs (i.e. not leaving a dumpster fire), you’ll feel more confident and less guilty about taking time off.

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

One of the biggest challenges of taking PTO is truly disconnecting from work. To avoid falling into the trap of constantly checking emails or messages during your time off, set clear boundaries and expectations with your team. Communicate your availability (or unavailability) during your PTO, set an out-of-office message, and redirect inquiries to the appropriate team members. This applies to any external clients, vendors, partners, etc. as well. If you can let them know that you have an upcoming absence, it gives them the opportunity to adjust their behavior accordingly as well. A typical result is that external parties will hold off on any non-essential communications until you return, making for a much more pleasant experience for anyone managing your inbox while you’re out (or for you when you get back).

Stick to the Plan

Giving yourself permission to fully disconnect and enjoy your time off is key to overcoming feelings of guilt. If you’ve done the work above on the front end, you have to acknowledge that you have done what you can to make sure everything is gravy while your gone. The trick then becomes holding yourself accountable to the disconnection. We check-in, update, ping, and scroll so much in our jobs, that in moments of down time, it can be hard to break the “need to be available” habit. That is often the hardest part. So when you feel those urges, I encourage you to look at them with curiosity before acting on them. Why do you feel the urge? How will you feel if you do give in? How about if you don’t? Why? Bringing awareness into those thoughts can be a great way to get your brain focused on something new rather than sparking a shame spiral. It may sound a little woo-woo, but it is worth a few tries at least. I’ve found James Clear’s thoughts around this to be very helpful and recommend giving this episode of How To Be a Better Human a listen before you go.

Returning to Work with a Fresh Perspective

When it’s time to return to work, ease back into your routine without overcompensating or feeling guilty about your absence (I know it may feel like you can’t but try to observe your thoughts here again). Triage your catch-ups, focus on your priorities and work through things methodically rather than trying to do everything at once. When you can, make a point to share the benefits of your time off with your team and be sure to express your gratitude to them for their help when you do a debrief conversation. By doing so, you’ll have modeled how taking PTO can work effectively for everyone. By normalizing the importance of taking PTO, you can help create a more supportive and understanding work environment for everyone and damn if that won’t feel nice!

We’d love to hear from you! Share your own experiences and tips for taking guilt-free PTO with us in the comments.